Monday, December 21, 2009

We went out for a date!

Actually went out on a date! For the first time in over three months, my Husband and I went out with out our baby. We don't have any family locally, so we asked wonderful friends to watch our boy...and it was pretty easy to feel comfortable with that because they are extremely trust worthy people and have their own baby too...but still a bit scary.

I definetly have an overactive paranoid imagination and even if someone is just holding him for a minute I can flash on something awful that may occur...motherhood and paranoia and guilt...what is the deal with that combo (or is it just me, see paranoia!).

Anyway...we had a blast. I kind of felt like we were ditching class, ha!

It also felt like we were missing something. I kept thinking that we were forgetting something and it kept me on edge at first. Then we both calmed down and had a really nice time. It's such an odd feeling to feel like your 'old self' and yet know that you are also a parent and at that momment you are sans 'baby in tow'.

Anyway, it was a milestone and I am proud that we made it the whole movie with out checking in and we were able to have a good time. I am looking forward to more dates!

My little one is fast asleep a bit early tonight after a very tough evening of screaming because of gas pain! Poor baby! So, it's time for me to pump and get some sleep before his next meal.

Sweet Dreams!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Do we need a revolution - part 1

I have tried to write this post about 10 times over the past's a tough I will post a bit today and add more down the road...

The revolution I am talking the one where we as a society figure out how to provide full time (or part time) care to our own children.

So...I was talking with my Husband the other day (and then later a few friends about the same topic)...pondering what in the heck we are going to do with the whole stay at home or go to work scenario. What do you do when you need the money but you can't find affordable and quality day care and/or you want to be the one to provide 'day' care for your own child? What do you do if you have pared your expenses down to the bare minimum and still can't squeeze the budget?

We haven't splurged on our lifestyle...we have old cars, don't have cable, pack lunches...etc...and still need both incomes!!!!

This feels like an un-resolvable issue!

It seems to me that our society has 'progressed' itself into no longer being able to raise their own kids...ugh. I am totally on board for careers and financial goals and also for raising your own kids. How do you accomplish all of these?

There are so few families I know that can have one of their parents stay home and raise their own kids.

The baby is until next time...sweet dreams!

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Is there a right time to have kids?

I have been pondering this one since I got married 11 years ago and have been having this conversation with lots of people lately who are contemplating if there is a right time to have kids. I am fortunate to have wise friends, mentors and family in my life who shared great advice with me. I didn't take their advice...because I am stubborn. Thought I would pass on their advice and share the not so helpful advice I received as well. I am sure you have heard this too. On that note, where did these societal norms come from...the things we all tend to think are necessary for a situation to be timed right???

I heard good and bad advice, such as:

- there is no right time
- just do it
- wait until you both are settled in your career
- save money first
- own a home first
- have kids early
- have kids once you've had time as a couple

These are all good things to a degree. Some of those things happened for us. We waited and waited to achieve some of those things on the list. It seemed that the logical parts of that list couldn't live in the same reality as the emotional parts we were feeling. We wanted to have a baby, have someone to teach and nurture. We wanted to create a new person for this world who will hopefully be courageous, loving, and innovative and much more. We wanted to take our marriage to the next level of commitment, growth and love. However, that list of 'have tos' didn't happen. Although we are financially responsible, we didn't have enough in the bank. We own our home and that hasn't helped. Our home is too small, but we still fit. Our careers aren't settled. My Husband is in school. We don't have enough time or energy or any family close by. However, it was our right time. Friends become family. You learn to ask for help. Small spaces get cozy. The way you use money changes. Time becomes more important. Hugs, kisses and smiles become everything. Faith becomes stronger. Responsibilities change and values strengthen.

The truth is there is a right time and it's when your heart says so and when your partners heart says so as well. When you trust your lover and yourself enough that you can lean on each other and allow your higher power to do the rest, it's right. I knew that waiting for the perfect space and saving cushion and to time it right with school and more would never work for us after years of trying to achieve that station. I wanted total perfection in planning and that is impossible. We would never arrive at that perfect place and we would miss out on the one thing our hearts really wanted. When it's the right time, it just is. It's not a decision you'll ever regret, but not to be taken lightly.

Remember that you still have to deal with you and your partner and the 'baggage' no matter all the warm fuzzy things I just wrote about hugs and kisses. Although, all those great things work out that I mentioned above, having a baby won't change your stripes. Make sure you are healthy in the different aspects of your life and that your partner is healthy too. Make sure you reach out for help. Having a kid is stressful and having a strong, healthy relationship is critical.

My advice:

Pray, work on getting healthy in every way, and practice the fun of making babies early and often with someone you have complete mutual, loving commitment and honesty with.

Sweet Dreams!

Monday, December 7, 2009

The best products list:

I thought I would share on what has worked well for me during our first three months of parenthood. Beyond the critically important components needed to raise a baby such as: faith, love, family, friends, and prayer...this is the 'superficial' list of products that have really helped me and been worth the money:

1 - baby swing
2 - 'swaddle me' pre-made swaddles
3 - a good pump - I love the playtex embrace
4 - champion seamless work out tops from target
5 - organic cotton nursing pads
6 - bravado body silk seamless nursing bra
7 - soothies pacifiers
8 - co-sleeper - snuggle nest
9 - receiving blankets
10 -california baby calming moisturizing cream
11 - grandma ell's diaper cream
12 - cloth diapers from happy heinys
13 - bebe au lait nursing cover
14 - glamour mom long nursing tanks
15 - wipes warmer and reusable cloth wipes
16 - gripe water
17 - sleepy wrap baby carrier

It's 3:06 AM...

So, this is what I get for calling the blog middle of the night Just put the munchkin down after his feeding. He didn't eat for long but had gone a nice long stretch for sleep which he needed. He doesn't sleep much during the day if at all, so he is cranky if he doesn't sleep well at night. I got a 3 hour stretch of sleep myself which is awesome! Time for me to pump and then drift back off to sleep for hopefully another nice stretch of time. I have so much to add to this blog, but little time, so it will come slowly but surely. For now, sweet dreams.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

first post!

I am finally starting this blog! Yay! I have been thinking about this for a while. I am excited to get this started. I have a long way to go to fill out this blog and a ton of stuff to share on my experiences and great resources in my community. For right now, my kiddo is asleep for some badly needed rest (woo hoo) and I finally get to hang out with my hubby for a few before we collapse in bed after a long but nice weekend. I can't wait to get this blog connected to my friends and the community so we can all share great information with each other on parenting. I believe in the saying that it takes a village to raise a child. I hope to share in this journey with many people. Parenthood seems to be an experiment. We can do a ton of research and lay out a plan, but in the end, we are all an experiment of one family at a time. Sweet dreams!