Thursday, January 19, 2012

How did we get to 28 months old?

So...I deided to open my blog. I haven't come here in a while. In fact, I have posted only two entires in all of 2011. I wrote a few entires, but only posted the two times.

My child has gone from my amazing, adorable, needy baby, who never sleeps or gives me a momment alone, to a two year old. He climbs terrifying equipment at the park, has opinions about my clothes and can repeat anything, remember and recall it at will. He knows when he's pooped...if only he would do that in a potty. Soon, soon, right? I am thrilled at his progress and sad that the baby-ness is passing.

The good, wait, I mean great news...he is sleeping so much better. Thank God!

So, my last post was about what to do with my life. How do I reconcile the challenges I face as a devoted stay at home mom who used to have a career and loved the independence of a career and is now feeling stuck somewhere in between.

My choices so far have been slow going. Working through the what if's and have to's and trying to find the healthy place instead has not been easy. Being a career girl has always looked a certain way to me. I have had a vision in my head of this since I was 12 years old. Being a Mom looked a certain way to me too. How do I combine both? How do I honor myself, my family and be realistic?

I have chosen, for now, to follow the stay at home mom and yoga dream. I am teaching yoga and branching out, looking for more opportunities within that community. I am toying with returning to school for a traditional masters, (in nutrition) or getting a certification in something like ayurveda. We toy with the idea of moving somewhere cheaper. Somewhere that we could have a bit more space...maybe a yard....grow vegetables...hang dry our clothes. We love the city, we miss the city vibe we felt attached to in Chicago...but we crave space. Is there a place for us where we could afford more space, have a garden and walk to the yoga studio &/or coffee shop down the road? Does this land exist. Please tell me that it does. I am putting out there that it does and that maybe it could be here. All it takes is a shift.

A shift in belief.

That shift is happening. That is progressing into a shift in our situation. It is there and it is happening.

I subscribe to the philosophy that thoughts and prayers are tools for change. Spiritual change, mental change and then tangible, physical change. I am praying and thinking about the opportunities that are there for my family and for all of us.

As for my 'baby' Dean...he doesn't like my motorcycle boots, will jump to his hearts' content with any good song, showers loved ones with hugs and kisses, and he does not want to share his truck with you.

Until next time, sweet dreams!